Enough is enough!

One of my greatest weaknesses is that I always take on way to much. Throughout all of college I have been faced with the task of balancing my time between being a full time student and having to work to pay for my college education.

Although it has been ideal to work 15-20 hours a week, I have found that for most of my time in college I have been working between 20-40 hours a week on top of my full academic load. Going off of my new theme of "why", I reflect back on this and ask myself why did I feel the need to work so much? The obvious answer is to make more money.

But why did I feel the need to make more money?

Well the answer to that question comes back to fact that I am always involved in so many activities. And with more activities come more fees and necessities for each thing. For example, I am a member of the Delta Gamma fraternity and so I have to pay my membership dues every term, but on top of the fees, I have to pay for the necessities of my DG pin, and event t-shirts and so on. Or like for soccer this year I had to pay fees for our Costa Rica trip, but then I also needed to buy the necessities of sportsbras, shinguards, cleats, etc. And in addition to the costs of all of my activities, I also wanted to work more so that I was able to afford all of my wants.

However, it wasn't until the discussion I had today in my religious studies class on the book Habits of the Heart by Robert Bellah, that I realized I have wants that conflict with each other when it comes to finding my happiness. On one hand I want to work so that I can earn money and be able to afford all of my activities and wants (the materialistic things that I find happiness from, utilitarian individualism) and on the other hand I don't want to work so that I have more time to devote to my academics and therefore get higher grades in my classes (the personal growth that I find happiness from, expressive individualism). In Bellah's terms, of utilitarian individualism and expressive individualism, I find myself in a conflict that is preventing me from reaching my true happiness.

And this concept isn't something that is new. Everybody can relate to a time when they wanted to have their cake and eat it too, but now the question is, what is going to make me happier? (a question that I feel is too often disregarded) Activities and material possessions? Or personal growth and gaining knowledge?

Well up until now I was more focused on the activities I participated in and the material possessions I owned because they were both a means of a instant (although short-term) happiness. And while I still find myself at the mall on days that I need a little pick me up, I have now realized that it is more important to me to cut down my work hours and better budget my finances so that I can focus more on my academics and eventually reach my acadmic/ career goals.

Like I discovered in my last blog post, the reasons I have set these goals for myself is to achieve my true happiness (that's the WHY I do the things I do). In fact, it's almost humorous that I haven't found this clarity until now, because looking back the answers seem so obvious.

So the progress that I have made this week, is not only realizing all of this, but also cutting down my work hours. I won't ever be able to achieve my greatest potential when I am too busy drowning in my overwhelming workload and the great deal of stress that accompanies it.

Now that I have made this change, I am eager to see how much I improve (both mentally and academically)!

Signing off as,

A less stressed student